A twinterview

Questions with my twin sister.

If you follow me on instagram, or know me personally, then you know I have an identical twin sister. I often feel incredibly lucky to have the experience of being a twin to such a cool person. I have tried many times to verbalize my experience of being a twin but it always falls short. It is such a nuanced, beautiful, complicated and incredible experience that it is hard to put into words.

There are definitely pros and cons to having an identity that is linked to another person, especially in a world riddled with comparison, while also working in the same profession. It’s a perfect recipe for a lot of comparison, naturally.

Figuring out our individuality has always been an interesting quest. From the minute we were born, comparison was thrust upon us, just simply out of necessity. How to tell us a part and who has what characteristics? I remember growing up people would always ask us, “Who is the nice one?” “Who is the evil one?” “Who is the smart one?” “Who is the pretty one...or the hotter one?”… Those questions always stumped us because it left us no room to both be those things. Maybe we are both evil, or both smart, or both nice…definitely both hot…but it had to be one or the other.

Our most asked questions, are always “Are you guys sisters?” “Are you guys related?” “Are you guys twins?” And the number one, most asked question being…“Did you guys ever switch classes in school and mess with your teachers?” The answer to that last question is always no, followed by disappointment from the person who asked it.

Before those questions are asked though, it is always approached with a double take…a pause…and then a quick realization of us being twins. Sometimes I just say, “yes… we are twins…” before they even get to the question, because I can see it on their face. Ultimately though, I have never once in my life been annoyed by people asking us about being twins.

I love the way it disarms people in a lot of social settings. It is a way to approach a conversation with a new person. There are so many times where we are in a situation, where someones demeanor shifts into a more light and positive one, when they realize we are twins. I genuinely love this aspect of being a twin. It feels really special.

I thought it would be fun to bring Reese on here to discuss all things, being a twin, fashion, interiors, individuality, style and for her, being a new mother. I had people send in questions over on my Instagram and I pulled inspo for questions from there.

We often share clothes. Do we have a shared closet?

Molly & Reese: In someways we have a shared closet but physically we have different closets, in different homes. However, when it comes to the things in our closet…what’s mine is hers and what’s hers is mine. We do always do a reset every couple weeks to make sure we bring back things we borrowed. We are aware of what things belong to who but we are always open to switching things in our closets for a couple weeks. If we have a specific look in mind, we will grab certain items from each others closets. It’s fun to have access to another full closet of things.

Is there a look that we have seen on each other that we have gathered inspiration from or wouldn’t have thought of, even while looking at the same articles of clothing?

Molly: I am always getting inspiration from the way Reese dresses. I so often see a look she puts together and think…damn, she really knows what she’s doing. She’s impeccable at layering and really understands how to play with colors and silhouettes. I have one specific look in mind, at the moment, that I very clearly remember thinking…okay, this styling is incredible.

Reese: We share so many of the same clothes, so it’s always exciting when we meet up and I see how we each styled looks using our shared clothes. This is definitely a perk of a shared closet. Two looks that I thought of for Molly, were these:

How did we both find our personal style?

Molly: If we are being honest, I think I just recently found my personal style. I think because the way I got into “content creating” was through Reese, I thought I needed to dress and look a specific way. I never really let myself understand my own style completely. So, for a while I wasn’t exactly clear with what my OWN style was. Again, this may be a twin thing, where identities can get confusing.

Recently though, I feel much more confident in my own style. I think Reese was also a big part in showing me how to discover my personal style. She is not afraid to get creative and think outside of the box. It’s so refreshing to see. I think being intuitive and really listening to what I love and how it feels on me is an important part in my personal style discovery. I’ve honestly never felt more in tune with my personal style until now and I am very happy about it.

Reese: I found my personal style from a very young age by trying out every style I was drawn to. Of course this is something that is constantly changing and evolving. I feel like whatever I am drawn to, is my personal style. Which sounds obvious. However, I think people overcomplicate it. I just pay attention to color, texture, pattern, shape and work from there. I think because I allow myself to just bravely try out anything that interests me, it has lead me to find my personal style. Obviously, my style I had in middle school is different than it is now but I approach it with a similar principle, by trying not to overthink it.

How do we think our personal styles compare and contrast?

Molly: This is hard to figure out, for me personally, but I think that I tend to lean a bit more feminine. Although, I still really enjoy masculine pieces and combinations. Also, I think my looks tend to have a bit more of a simplicity to them. It’s hard to assess that on a personal level, I feel like I’d have to ask someone else. However, in a lot of ways, we have very similar taste. We typically like the same things but just style and wear them in different ways. So, I guess short answer is I am a bit more feminine and a bit more simple in my styling.

Reese: I agree with that as well. We could even wear the same exact outfit and it would end up looking and feeling different just because of who we are. The way we move through space and carry ourselves, change the look of the outfit. It’s usually just one little detail that changes the way it looks. I think Molly typically dresses more feminine and more sexy, while I tend to lean more towards a more masculine touch but of course I don’t stray too far one way or the other.

How do we each find inspiration?

Reese & Molly: We find inspiration in very similar ways and I think it’s the way a lot of people find inspiration. The best inspiration comes from the people before us and the people around us. We love looking through design books, Pinterest, Tumblr, our favorite fashion and interior designers. Nature is a huge source of inspiration for us as well.

Reese: I always say nature is the original designer. The colors, patterns, textures, silhouettes, all come from nature originally.

People want to know how it is having friends as twins. Do we have the same friends and do we hangout together?

Molly & Reese: For the most part we have the same friends…and any friends we make separately from each other, usually end up becoming both of our friends. I think this is just the twin way. More times than not, if you ask one of us to hang out…just expect the other to be coming along as well. We are a package deal.

Do we feel like people constantly compare us? Life, fashion, accomplishments. etc.

Molly: 100% yes. I think comparison is a natural human behavior but when it comes to twins, especially identical twins, comparison is sewn into most aspects of our lives. In fact, it is so embedded in my experience of being a twin that it is something I catch myself constantly doing on my own. Something I have noticed in the last couple of years, since being online, is the way our jobs and accomplishments almost become each others. What I mean by that is, people often celebrate our individual accomplishments, as if they are both of ours. Or if someone messages me online, if it starts out as a compliment directed at something I posted or did, it usually ends up to some degree, being about the both of us. Whether we are both a part of said thing or not. I don’t mind this, it’s just a fascinating experience, something that I think only twins really understand.

Reese: Fully agree with this. I think it is just an inevitable part of being a twin. People want to know how we compare, they need to know how to place us in their minds. So, they will ask questions like who is smarter or more out going…etc. Which of course always leaves us in a space of being put in our own little boxes and not both being able to exist just as individual beings. But we genuinely don’t mind this, it is more so just an interesting observation and also happens to siblings even if they aren’t twins. The twin comparisons though are just on a different level.

What do we look for when buying new pieces whether that be for our closets or for our homes?

Reese (but Molly echos this sentiment): As far as clothing goes, we always look for something that can be worn multiple ways, that are easy go to pieces. The pieces you have, when you don’t know what to wear but still want to feel like yourself. Or if it’s not that, it’s a statement piece that’s super special. Never really anything in that middle ground or gray area. Important things we look for in new pieces are always color, texture, pattern, silhouette and imagery. One, perhaps more niche thing, I get drawn to, especially with vintage clothing, are the little details like the tags on the clothes. It makes me want to know more about the piece. Like the graphic design of the tag, the color etc.

For home decor, it really depends on what it is but I think the same rules apply to purchasing clothes. I have to really love the piece. I have to feel like it can be styled in my space in different ways or that it can change and evolve with me. If you really love the piece and the structure/form, then I think that’s the most important aspect. It allows space for it to change and grow with you, in whatever way you want, without being stuck on what is trending in that moment. You need to really be in tune with what you love and confidently honor that.

Any advice for a parent who wants to foster individuality in their identical twins?

Molly: This is such a good question. I think just honoring them simply as individual people is super important. Letting them on their own, celebrate their similarities and differences, like friends would. Making sure they know that they are capable and important on their own and the rest will fall into place. I am sure they will feel so lucky to have a twin but being able to limit the comparisons, as a parent, is important because the outside world will constantly do that for them.

Reese: I say don’t dress them the same. Don’t compare them, let them do that. Let them know they are individual people and don’t call them “the twins.” Let them know they are their own person. It’s special to have an identical twin but really important to not let it take over their identity as individuals.

The most asked questions, are about Reese entering into motherhood and how our relationship has changed. Has it been weird to experience being in different stages of life, for people who have pretty much always experienced stages of life in very similar ways?

Reese: Nothing is weird it’s just different. We do what we have always done but in a more chopped up way, shorter periods of time. We used to just hang out and do nothing together for extended periods of time, we don’t do that anymore. You don’t really have extra time like that when you become a parent. You also end up doing things quite quickly and perhaps a bit more rushed, especially with a newer baby. But it doesn’t feel weird that Molly doesn’t have a kid or that we are in slightly different stages of our lives. I don’t think we need to be in the same stage of life. Overall, we do the same things but just slightly different. Now there is just a little guy added to the mix, which just opens us up to a whole other way of living and experiencing the world.

Molly: Agreed, things are definitely done a lot quicker and with more time constraints than before. Some days I do wish we could hang like we did before and not have that rushed feeling. Overall though, it really hasn’t changed much. I am also just very impressed with Reese and I think being a mom has actually made her a lot more calm. She appears to be a lot more confident in her abilities, which is really amazing to witness. It’s also nice to see parenting up close and I’m taking notes for whenever I become a parent myself.

Reese, do you have words of comfort for someone who is afraid of pregnancy and birth.

I guess the thing that always brought me comfort was, the idea that my body was meant to do this. That my body knew exactly what to do and what it needed. It’s impossible to know how your body will be during pregnancy and birth, so don’t try to fill in the blank or take on other peoples experiences. Your experience will be so specific to you and your baby. Try not to listen to all the things that could go wrong and try to focus on the potential that everything could go right. Most importantly, don’t listen to all the fears on the internet. In fact, try to listen to yourself more and trust yourself. It’s okay to enjoy it and it’s also totally okay to hate it. Just know that it will all workout because you are strong and capable.

And the age old question…do you guys ever fight?

Molly: I think people are often surprised when we say we don’t fight and we never really have. We obviously bicker and get annoyed of each other here and there. We just have never really gotten into a big disagreement or fight. For the most part, we are good at being there for each other, in the way we need. However, we are a work in progress and always have things we can shift and change to better our relationship. But for the most part, that is my favorite person on earth. <3

Reese: Fully agree with that. I cannot imagine getting in a fight where I didn’t talk to Molly. But I wouldn’t really do that with anyone ever.